Friday, February 3, 2012


I really love Pandora. I love that I can put in an artist and then I don't have to think after that, except for when they play something WAY out of context..and I am like Snoop Dogg? On my Colbie Caillat station? Hmmm....
For the most part, I love it. A song by a gal I am not familiar with (yet) just played and it made me stop in my tracks. I of course clicked on the "thumbs up" but I wish there was another button when I REALLY like a song...a high five button? A jump up and down and squeal with delight button? A running man button!! A little dude doing the running man. That would make my year. So what is this song?
It is "Lovely" by Sara Haze on her album "My Personal Sky"
"Am i supposed to give up everything I am just to make you happy?"
"I am lovely just the way that I am."
How I wish I could have heard and believed this when I was 16. But that's ok. It has taken me a while- and I have a pretty harsh past history with figuring myself out, but God will use that. He already has and will continue to use it for His glory.
You see, in this song, it talks about not giving up your identity for someone else- that we are find being "little old me". But what it doesn't say is WHY. I had to learn this. I am perfect the way I am not because of this world, or because other people say I am, or even because I have found how to love myself. I am confident in myself because I AM HIS CREATION. We hear and read so many things about "loving yourself" "forgiving yourself" and all the flowery talk about searching within. But the problem is, until I realized that God is within- that He grants me all the beauty I posess, my searching was futile. People who don't include God in their encouragement to love themselves will keep going back to that same emptiness- well why didn't it last? I practiced self-talk and uplifting behavior- but I once again feel empty? It is because there needs to be a source GREATER than us. We are human and we are not capable of filling our own voids. We mess up. We hurt those around us. We fall. He doesn't mess up. He doesn't hurt us. He never falls.
So my message is this- if you are feeling like icky thoughts keep creeping back in despite your efforts to love yourself and "earn" positive self image, maybe you should consider your source. I have found I cannot do it for myself. I have to ask for my eyes and thoughts to be from Him.